I grew up in a religious faith that was common in our country. I was faithfully obeying religious rites and superstitious beliefs. Way back my childhood days, I’ve been a strong-willed person. BEFORE, I wanted to achieve lot of things to cover up my inadequacy. I learned how to cuss during my high school days. I thought it was cool when you cussed using English language. Of course, this was uttered away from my parent’s ears. I began to cover-up my insecurities by my wit, accomplishments and strong character. I made it possible that I get what I wanted. Even if it would be physically impossible to acquire it, I will shower all my efforts to get it. My brother and sisters were not messing-up with me because before they utter a word I’ve already uttered a dozen. When they require me to do something, murmur will surely erupt.
One day I was awakened by my longing to have a deeper relationship with my Creator. I began my search by observing different religions. Many people shared to me their religious faith. I started believing them, swayed by their flowery beliefs but an unknown force stopped me from imbibing their faith. I fight for the faith that was yet to be found by me. I did not give in to their persuasion. I decided to seriously involve in my known religion for years. Every time I wanted a favor from my Creator, I go to church believing that only there God’s presence dwell. My heart was aching to know Him more. I regularly attended mass but my heart was not yet satisfied. It was as if I needed to meet someone to complete my being. I actively participated in a religious youth organization. I made soul-searching to my utmost capability and knowledge. I soaked myself with my religion to fill my emptiness.
Before my collegiate experience, I vowed to myself that my life will be totally different. New friends, new professors, new achievements - totally new me. In May 2003, enrollment day, I have met a group of people assisting the freshmen. They invited me to eat with them at our canteen. They are odd people. They pray before they eat. Their connection was strange. They have something in common that was peculiar. They love to share their thoughts, pray for each other, help each other, or simply, carry each other’s burden. Who are they? What are they? Why are they so concerned about me? Why do they like to hang out with me? Is it a sorority or fraternity? Why do they love Jesus so much? Why is it that every time they talk about Jesus as if they’ve known him personally? Why do they have a special bond to each other? More and more questions came up to my mind. Even some of the answers were already revealed, I still have lot of questions. Curiosity catches the fish. I immediately agreed to accept their invitation to attend their church anniversary. Church anniversary?—is this another religion? Oh my gosh, I’m already sick and tired of it.
The Church Anniversary and outing with my childhood crush (weeh?) was scheduled on the same date. Following my desire to be with him, I chose the outing. Hours before the anniversary, I began to think of attending. As if there was a thunderous voice that requires me to deny my personal desire and that there is someone that I need to meet at the anniversary…Someone more important than my childhood crush (gee). It was indeed a battle because I’m into him. I desire his presence. I cannot leave. But my feet were dragged by a majestic force that enabled me to divert my wants. A decision was made. I need to attend the anniversary. I may not know what awaits me there but I need to attend. It’s a necessity, not mere wants. I do not know why.
Finally, I came with my best friend. We arrived late. The place called “Silver Church” (because the walls were furnished by aluminum-like material) was already filled with people. I saw the people that I’ve met in the campus. They ushered us inside. The program runs differently. The people were shouting, crying, lifting their hands and jumping while singing songs. They were really weird. The preacher gave the message that I hardly understood. It was about Pentecost, Revival. I dunno. After the preaching he prayed for us. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate. I began crying. I don’t know why. I felt a sudden release of emotion. I prayed for my family. I asked Him favors. I asked forgiveness. I felt His embrance. I experienced His presence for the first time. It was amazing, unexplainable feeling. Joy explodes. My heart wanted to burst out with satisfaction of His presence. I wanted to shout until my lungs comes out from my chest. Refreshed. Astonished. Relieved. Cleansed. I had really mixed emotions. I rest my case, He is indeed real. I believed, He is genuine. He is sovereign. He is God. He is Jesus.
…After that incident, I crave for more of Him. I desired to experience more of Him. Know Him better….”As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God (Ps. 42:1-2) ”.
…NOW, My journey of love, trust, and hope started with Him…He is my everything. He is the most precious thing that happened to my life. If loving Him requires MY ALL, then let MY ALL BE HIS because loving him is ALL that I desire! I love you Jesus.
Thanks to my Lighthouse Family! You will always be part of me...hehe :)
